His Reason For Living
by MBooker
Summary: Rick's lament over losing Evy


"NOOOO!"  
  
He felt the knife in his gut and knew it was fatal. He knew his life had ended but he refused to accept it. His heart pounded with desperation and despair as he took each step. 'No! It can't be!' his mind lamented. 'She can't be...' his mind wailed. He ran as fast as he could toward his reason for living. He had to get to her. If he could get to her... If he could get to her before she fell...  
  
She had sunk to her knees but he still had a change to get to her. She started falling back but he still had a chance. His heart stopped when he looked into her tear filled eyes. She was begging him to hurry. To hurry so that she could say goodbye. NO! He could not let her say goodbye. He had to save her.  
  
"EVY!" he slid to his knees and caught her before she hit the hard earth. He held her in loving hands as he eased her to the ground. "OH god!" he cried as he saw and felt the warm blood from her fatal wound. "Evy!" he said as tears rushed down his face.   
  
'Goodbye' she said with her eyes. He did not want to say goodbye. He could not say goodbye. How could he say goodbye to his reason for living? Then his son asked him if Mum was going to be all right. Of course she was going to be all right! She had to be... because she was his reason for living.  
  
"Mommy's fine" he lied to his son and himself. "She's fine. JONATHAN! Take him! Take him!" he did not want his son to see her...   
  
'NO!' his heart screamed. She was not going to leave him! She couldn't, she just couldn't.   
  
"Evy, you're strong" he insisted. "You're gonna be fine. You're gonna be fine sweetheart" he said desperately, refusing to accept that she was...   
  
NO! She could not leave him! She couldn't, she just couldn't. He could not live without her. He had to save her but he did not know how.  
  
"What do I do Evy" he cried as his tears dropped. "What do I do?" he asked in a frantic whisper as he saw his reason for living losing life.   
  
'Take care of Alex' she said but that was not the answer he wanted to hear. She was supposed to tell him what to do to save her, to save himself, to save them, because without her there was no him.   
  
"nooo!" he whispered in an anguished voice, his heart still refusing to accept... "evy..." he begged her to stay.  
  
As her eyelids slowly descended on her hazel eyes, so did the sunlight on his world.   
  
"Don't go!" he cried desperately as the life in his heart slowly drained out of him. "Come back!" he demanded and shook her. "Come... back!" he touched her lip with his finger as he looked at her through eyes heavy-laden with tears. "please come back" he pleaded.  
  
His heart, once full of vigor, was now lifeless. In that moment, all his strength deserted him and the only thing he could do was lay his head on her chest and cry out his grief.   
  
"come back" he uttered as his heart hoped against hope that he would hear her heart beat. "come back..." he beseeched her as he soaked her blouse with his tears.  
  
He lay there sobbing and willing her heart to beat, willing her to come back to him. But... it was too late. She could not come back to him now. She was lost to him forever. His reason for living was gone. How could he continue to live without his reason for living? How?   
  
'Take care of Alex' she had told him.  
  
'But how?!' his heart cried out. How could he do it without her? He couldn't.  
  
Another tormented scream came from the depths of his empty soul and he emitted a bellow that was full of hopelessness. How could he even function let alone take care of Alex when his reason for living was lying dead?   
  
'Take care of Alex' he heard her above his cries.  
  
Alex, who was the only thing he had left in the world. Alex, who was all he had left of her. Alex, who was conceived the morning after their wedding day. Alex, who was the fruit of their majestic love. Alex, who was so much like her.   
  
He had to find a way to go on if not for himself, then for her and for Alex. He had to 'take care of Alex'. When he finally lifted his head from her chest and looked down at her lifeless body, a gush of tormented cries escaped him as fresh tears cascaded down his cheeks.  
  
"E v y!" he cried. "I don't know if I can do it!" he said, his heart crushed from his great loss. "I don't want to do it! Not without you!"   
  
Looking into her lovely, lifeless face had sent him back to the pit of despair.  
  
'You must' he heard her say. 'For Alex.'   
  
He cried his heart out again as anger filled him. Anger at her for leaving him. Anger at himself for letting this awful thing happened to her. Anger at the Scorpion King and Anubus and his damned army. Anger at that damned cursed mummy Imhotep and that black clad b!#c% who took her away from him.  
  
"why did you leave me Evy?" he asked in desperate agony. "why?" He did not understand why he was dealt such a cruel blow.  
  
'Take care of Alex.'  
  
After a waterfall of tears soaked his shirt, he wiped his tears but fresh ones took their place. He looked down at her and touched her face, then her lips as he remembered their love and relived their life together. When she came into his life 9 years ago, she had given him a reason to live. She had given him her love and shown him how to love. She had given him Alex and he knew that if he lived forever he could never thank her enough for him. She had given him everything she had and now she was gone. How could he continue living without her?  
  
'Take care of Alex.'  
  
He did not know how, but he knew he had to go on for Alex, for her.  
  
"I love you Evy" he whispered as he rubbed his thumb across her cheek. "I'll love you forever."  
  
'I love you' he heard her say and that gave him the strength he needed to carry on. He leaned over and gently kissed her lips, vowing to never let go of the love they shared.  
  
"I love you" he said as his face hovered over hers, then he lowered his head and kissed her again. "I love you."  
  
He then sat up and looked at her for a few seconds, drinking in her beauty before rising to his feet.  
  
'Take care of Alex.'  
  
He turned from his wife to his son. He would do just what she asked. He would take care of Alex. As he looked at his son he realized that though his reason for living was now gone, she still lived through their child.  
  
He took Alex into his arms and embraced him. Alex had now become his reason for living.   
  



End file.
